Letting Go

I am wondering if the greatest of loves were ever meant to be. Time after time, I see myself and others around me letting go of the ones we claim to love. What is that magic ingredient that makes us want to keep just one person and be able to follow through with it? You know, the deep down desire that never goes away....not the physical desire but the burning desire at the very depth of your soul that tells you that you must keep this person in your life.

I can eloquently phrase that but have yet to find one that I desire to keep for long. Many times, I thought I had found such a person, a man. Only to find later he possessed some quality that I could not overlook. Qualities that actually made him a incompatible mate to the point of obvious dissatisfaction at ever having chose him to begin with. I chuckle inwardly at this thought for it is not entirely true. I love many qualities of many men and only wish I could put them all together to make one fantastic man. Correction needed here, I thought I had found one such man and am still waiting to see what happens. Either he has too much pride to return to me or I never really had him anyway.

I have no regrets regarding any man I ever chose for each one brought something invaluable to my life. I learned strength and patience from some, confidence and boldness from others. I can not attribute my softness or my creative side to a man although I have met one or two that have brought it out in me. For this, I can thank the man most recently involved in my life. My creative juices certainly exploded onto the scene when we discovered each other.

It was like a flood gate, once opened there was no stopping it. I wrote about one hundred poems in just a few months. Now, I write to you in journal or story style but still my creative nature is showing. I do not plan on letting the gates close, if anything I will put the largest timber I can find in them and keep them open regardless of the storms I must endure.

So you are probably wondering by now what all this rambling has to do with "Letting Go", the title of this post.

You can not hold onto something that doesn't wish to be held onto. My challenge to myself is to try and write without a muse, without the aid of a man in my life. If you have ever written, you understand my last statement. I shall not need a man to the point where my creative juices stop flowing if he is no longer in my life.

Blessings,
Tera