Catalyst, Catapult and Caution

Several months back, in fact as far back as September my life catapulted in a different direction. Once I choose a path there is most certainly no turning back. I am not quick to make judgments nor do I voice them right away. I take my time to assess, examine the facts and my feelings about them before I proceed. Proceed with caution....

Except when it comes to love. It seems love strikes me blind and I forget all common sense. I am taken in, wrapped up in its world and I forget all else around me. This kind of love makes you crazy. It puts you on the highest highs and the lowest of lows. If I could love and keep my senses about me, that would be perfection. I have found this kind of love or had, I thought just once. Examining the past I know what I felt before was mixed emotions, but not love.

Once love has let me down, I do all I can to explain it away. I find ways to distract from it, forget it and even discredit it. Failure to do so confuses me and I feel only time will heal this wound. There is no action or communication to set my thoughts in any other direction. As soon as I start to get this planted in my head, a little line comes through...a note....an email....a doubt from somewhere within. Why can I not let it go? Simple, really. Because he has not let me and I have not let myself.

The catalyst....a man from my past. More than two decades went by without a word from him and he contacted me to find out what went wrong with us. I won't get into this story. Let's just say that having someone from that long ago remind you that it is never to late for love or to start over sends a pretty strong message. No, we are not together nor will we ever be. He just happened to speak the right words at the right time since I was already headed down the path to my own happiness and rediscovery.

So, we revisit caution once again. I forgot caution and didn't have my armor on. Love should not need such words as caution and armor. What it needs are reinforcements in the way of respect, communication and devotion. How many chances do you give love and how much caution do you exercise when doing so? I always say I will be hard and level headed but we all know that once we are within touching range of our love that all common sense and caution catapults out the door.

Good Man Wanted

This should read like a classified ad but its more like a long story....They don’t seem to exist anymore, good men that is. If you know a man that is artistic, creative, loves food and music and kids...can hold a conversation about more than just the weather and isn’t a stuffed shirt...he must have sense of humor...must be patient but also be a MAN....should have some manners and know how to treat a lady....my list goes on and on....I would love to meet such a man in the future even if its just for the occasional dinner.

Let's do that over....

WANTED:

One good man. Preferably over 6 ft tall. Weight not really an issue if you are some what fit. Hair and eye color unimportant. Must love good food, music, dancing and art. Art doesn't have to be the type in a museum, alternative types are encouraged to apply. Must have a sense of humor, be patient, respectful and be willing to be spontaneous. Said man must also not be so respectful that we can't have fun. Dancing can be done at home, under the stars or during an evening out. Knowledge of cooking is a plus and an interest in cooking foods that do not come prepared or in a box is even better. He must now how to treat a lady in all aspects, including but not limited to greetings, phone calls, affection, romance and if things are not progressing along nicely then he must know how to speak up and say so with delicacy but clearness. Loving children and animals is an absolute must. Redneck attitudes and close mindedness not appreciated. In addition, dimwits, players and momma's boys need not apply.

If such a man exists....... Lord, let such a man exist... let's hope he can survive the world long enough to find me ready for him. Amen.