Fling the Gnat

Just like the incessant little pest deserves! Imagine the gnat, cute in all aspects but really just a pest. He minds his own business which is pretty much spent occupying the space close enough to your ear for you to feel his wings buzz and whir. His high pitched fever whirl wind buzzing, diving and then just simply pissing you off.

I do this, fling the gnat. Call it what you may but its figurative for so many stressors in life. I could also say "flick the seed". Imagine the seeds that plant themselves in your brain and your heart. The seeds of fear and doubt which just like a pesty little gnat needs to be flung away. Take the seed between your able fingers long before it plants itself and fling it away into oblivion. Do not argue with the seed or try and reason with it. Do not give it nourishment or acknowledgment of any kind. Simply banish it before it takes hold.

As you watch the seed catapult from your fingers you can actually feel the stress leave. There is no need to reason it away for it no longer exists. You have ridden your beautiful garden of the pest before it took hold. Yes, obviously a metaphor but not such an obvious one to some readers. The gnat or seed is doubt and fear. We do not need to let these into our life.

Doubt weakens our beliefs and fear stops us from believing. Let either one in and everything we have worked for is gone. My life is an English garden, wandering and without what seems to be a plan but when viewed from the right angle is magical and quite complex. I gather all that is around me and I cherish these things. I love people for a lifetime and let go of all fear and doubt.

Someday my garden will be complete and I will stand in the middle with the sun on my face while the scent of lilacs fill the air. Laughter intermixes with songs of blue birds and butterflies make merry while enjoying the bounty. I tell myself these things but in all reality, they are only said to keep fear and doubt away.

Fear does not come into play so much. I do not fear death, debt or loss of loved ones. I have endured these things already. Doubt. Doubt is a nasty little pest. I realize I do not fear doubt either. It is a nasty little pest that is so small and insignificant that I do not register it. It is the wondering if I have made a difference in someones life. This is what I fear, I fear I have not.

While We Are on The Subject

The subject of love, that is....

Love can be elusive
it can turn tail and run
what I am hoping love can not do is lie

If love hides, this can have the same affect as a lie
In love, there should be no hiding.
Why hide love?

I am pondering....as you can see I am tossing these thoughts out there to see where they land. Imagine standing in a field and a circle is around you. You toss love about to see what happens. Does it land inside your circle within reach or does it fall short? You would think if it falls short you could grasp it but no, if it falls short then love has disappointed you.

What of love then? What are you left with? Honestly, at this point I do not know. I remember love. It only took the suggestion of love being gone from my midst to feel the physical reaction and know I do not want to give up on this love.

I can only know what I feel. I trust my thoughts and that's all I can count on. I felt the prickle of my skin, the racing of my heart and the feeling of my face dropping as I read the words. Activation and deployment issues...dread sets in and you want to keep mum but you can't. How do you keep mum and not tell this person you don't want it to be them? Not now...unless they really want to leave.

You can't keep mum. It's not in you, too much is at stake. If even all you do is say it and it falls on deaf ears, it matters not. At least you said your peace. There it is~by saying your peace, you find peace. Love doesn't stay quiet. At least not this love, it doesn't know how. Then again, I have been quiet in "it's" presence and reveled in it. Soaked in the sun and held the hand that held her heart and was at peace.

Blessings,
Tera